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Abuse: Physical, Sexual, Emotional
“And she who
had been shamed was more radiant than the sun.” What is meant
by abuse?
As children, we
need love and protection from our parents and other adults. Many of us instead were ill-treated or
exploited, in one way or another. As
adults, we need love and support from our partner and friends. Many of us instead are hurt or victimised
by those who we thought loved us. For
some, being abused as an adult continues an all-too-familiar pattern of being
abused as a child. How does it
feel?
If we have
suffered abuse, we are often left with feelings of powerlessness, shame,
anger or despair. We may be desperate
to put the abuse behind us and get on with our lives, but find it still
haunts us, with nightmares or flashbacks.
We may find it difficult to form close relationships without getting
hurt yet again. We may try to protect
ourselves with a show of aggression, even though inside we feel weak and
helpless. We may feel disgusted with
ourselves for letting the abuse happen in the first place. In short, we may be very unhappy. How can
counselling help?
Your counsellor
cannot erase the past. What happened, happened.
But talking to someone who really wants to understand you and who
listens, without judging, to every part of your experience can bring enormous
benefits. Counselling can help you
explore your own story, looking from a safe place at things which were
frightening at the time and which may still frighten you. In this way, they may start to lose their
power to affect your life. You may
look with adult eyes at things which were unmanageable to you as a child, and
find that you are stronger than you thought.
You may get a clearer idea of who was responsible for what happened
and you may let go of your feelings of guilt or shame. You may recognise repeating patterns and
discover how to break out of them.
Successful counselling can help you move out of the shadow of past
abuse and into the light of your future.
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