Sexuality

"There is no norm in sexuality.  Norm is the name of the guy who lives in Brooklyn”

How do you know if you're gay?

No one is born knowing who they are, let alone whether they're gay, straight or whatever. Some people are predominately attracted to people of the same sex. They're gay or lesbian. Others are attracted to both men and women to varying degrees. They're bisexual. You can change, or be unsure, so take your time.  Most people during their life feel drawn to someone of their own sex. But finding someone attractive doesn't mean you're gay. For many, these feelings are just part of normal sexual development and some go on to have relationships with people of the opposite sex.

What if these feelings don't go away but get stronger or you become really confused?

If you're asking questions about your sexuality, then you're probably not ready to give yourself a label. Working it out takes time.  Nobody knows what makes someone gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight. We don't choose our sexuality. It's not due to our upbringing or the people we hang around with. Sometimes it just 'is' - like your hair colour or shoe size. 

Being gay, lesbian or bisexual is normal, but it can feel isolating to discover that your sexuality is different to that of your friends, particularly if you don't know anyone else who's gay or lesbian. You haven't done anything wrong. Unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way. Some people feel threatened by things they don't understand. Because of this, you may be tempted to keep quiet or pretend that you're heterosexual. The trouble is, you can't hide your feelings forever. What's more, you shouldn't have to. You have a right to be proud of who you are. 

A counsellor will help you explore your own feelings and enable you feel comfortable with how you are.